Thursday, December 13, 2012

A little flexibility

I was talking to a friend recently, and he mentioned a friend who seems to only go for guys who are just past legal age, lean muscled, and white. I don't want to begrudge people for their "types" too much since I've had and STILL have my own types. But that got me thinking, and for once it's not about the unconscious biases we have and how that might affect attraction.

Instead, my thoughts were more positive: how kink has helped my preferences morph and be more open.

I think the first time I noticed this was when I saw bondage pics that were shot where a bald guy was the one dominating. Until that point, I had not been attracted to guys who were bald or had receding hairlines, but that triggered something with me. I found myself attracted not just regardless, but because of that. The same thing has happened other times with other "types" I wasn't attracted to before: guys who are fat, guys who are older, guys who are only slightly taller or even shorter than me, gingers... I've noticed similar things happening with women, too. The older I get, the more it becomes like a role-playing game, where I level my sexual attraction until I find more and more sexy people.

I'm not sure whether my bondage interests have helped me gain attraction or if it's there but not as loud if I didn't have that as a "cue" but I just find it interesting how many more people I want to do things with (or to). I no longer have a "type," really, unless you factor in that I drop someone like a bad habit if they aren't respectful to me or to my friends.

Has this happened to anyone else before?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Back to basics

I did some modeling for a new friend on Sunday. He and I share a fondness for the traditional rope + duct tape/bandana bondage that is usually the sort of thing you see on TV, in movies, etc. As I've mentioned before, that is what got me interested in bondage to begin with.

One of the nice things about doing my modeling thing was, on top of having some nice pictures, I got to be tied up like the heroes I saw growing up. I first discovered I was interested in bondage from when I was really young, and I had no interest in sex. Bondage WAS sex. It was strange that I was so turned on by it, but it interested me.

During this year, I experimented with a lot of different ways of being tied and tormented. My friends and contacts lists grew exponentially. My calendar was booked. Things were constantly in motion, both sexually and in my personal life. Everything zoomed by.

So it felt good to return to my kinks in their purest form. With all of this change going on in my life, it's good to know I am still rooted and have things that still are a part of me. I've learned this year that I need to take action to solve some of the biggest problems in my life.

But sometimes I just need to be still.

Happy and safe playing, everyone.

- V